Coke

Watching the BBC News yesterday I came across a report - worded rather differently than one would expect - regarding the falling price of cocaine. It was unusual because they inadvertently made the trade in the infamous egotoxin sound like a legitimate business that had fallen on hard times; pointing out a diminution in quality, accompanied by rising price of yer high street gram, as if coke should be in the RPI basket of goods alongside eggs and tights. It was almost a lament. I half expected some vox popped Disgusted of Tunbridge Wells to say, "It's an outrage. I paid thirty quid for a wrap of Sniff the Difference Charlie from Sainsbury's and four hours later I was still struggling with my self-esteem. Something should be done about it". I agree, Major. We should at least have a regulator. May I suggest OFCRACK? Also, is this an industry that the government might deem worthy of bailing out? Perhaps a £30bn loan to the beleagured farmers of Colombia? After all, MP's happily spend tax payers money on almost anything else they feel like. And marching powder might still represent good value compared to £650 to have your wisteria trimmed. (Anyone else think that sounds like a Carry-On-esque euphemism, by the way?)